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Vuvuzela Creates Wall Of Noise At World Cup 2010
Whenever the World Cup rolls around, something always comes up to cause controversy and set tongues wagging. If it isn’t the fact that the beer has run out, it will be another demonstration of crime and yob culture, or sometimes that stadiums are half full. This time it’s all about a little plastic trumpet that emits a monotonous wall of noise.
Like every World Cup game so far, Saturday’s match between the United Kingdom and the USA was ‘enhanced’ by the annoyingly unmusical resonance of the humble vuvuzela – likened to a giant hive of agitated hornets. Some conspiracy theorists say there is a subliminal message hidden within this constant drone, a mind altering stanza if you will, though whatever it is the vuvuzela is inarguably a fast track to permanent hearing loss.
The world football governing body, FIFA, wanted to impose a ban on the use of vuvuzelas during the World Cup 2010, primarily due to concerns that yobbos could use the vuvuzela as a weapon, and that it would provide suitable real estate for advertisements. This was overruled when the South African Football Association (SAFA) managed to convince FIFA that the vuvuzelas were essential for an authentic South African football experience.
If these stadium horns were banned, what alternative instrument could have provided a more pleasing tone, but still stay true to the “authentic SA football experience”? Perhaps a musical fusion of the Kalimba, or the rhythmic beat of the Djembe?
In the meantime it is in the hands of Joseph “Sepp” Blatter, head of FIFA, as to whether this satanic noise is allowed to continue during the 2010 tournament.
Let’s hope the World Cup is never held in Texas – Squeal like a Banjo!
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About the Author
Von is a fan of sports. Name one, he’ll watch it. He hails from NW England and is an avid Man Utd supporter. Yes, he knows what you think of him.
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