Soccer Terms

portugal Soccer Shorts

In the Heat of Battle $0.99 Joe had heard emotions ran high during soccer games. But the American was unprepared for what he saw when he attended his first match in Portugal. Poor officiating leads to results no one could have expected.This short story also appears in the collection Blood Ransom….

#7 RONALDO Portugal Home 2012-14 Kid Soccer Jersey & Matching Short Set Parents: Looking for a perfect gift for your child(ren)? Then, you do not want to miss out on this new awesome looking Portugal Home 2012-14 youth soccer jersey kit of #7 RONALDO (matching short included) during this 2012 Euro Cup for your child(ren). This is perfect for children among various age groups as follows: 5-7 years old, 8-10 years old, and 10-12 years old. Please remember the sizes can …

#7 RONALDO Portugal Away 2012-13 Kid Soccer Jersey & Matching Short Set – For Youth Age: 5-7 Years Old $34.99 Parents: Looking for a perfect gift for your child(ren)? Then, you do not want to miss out on this new awesome looking Portugal Away 2012-13 youth soccer jersey kit of #7 RONALDO (matching short included) during this 2012 Euro Cup for your child(ren). This is perfect for age 5-7 years old (can vary depending on the size of your child). Go Portugal!!…

#7 RONALDO Portugal Away 2012-13 Kid Soccer Jersey & Matching Short Set – For Youth Age: 10-12 Years Old $34.99 Parents: Looking for a perfect gift for your child(ren)? Then, you do not want to miss out on this new awesome looking Portugal Away 2012-13 youth soccer jersey kit of #7 RONALDO (matching short included) during this 2012 Euro Cup for your child(ren). This is perfect for age 10-12 years old (can vary depending on the size of your child). Go Portugal!!…

Xara International Series Portugal Short Sleeve Jersey Soccer is a global game and this shirt gives you the excitement that only soccer can bring. Show your pride by wearing a country jersey….

I’m on setanta (8 Bonus Shorts) A Christmas present for champions

The Catcher in the Guy

The wife has got to make a meal out of everything. When giving birth, most women are in and out in a few hours with minimal whining, but the wife had to have ‘complications’. I can’t remember the exact excuse she gave for her extended three-day stay, I think it was something like a rupture, a breach, or the bed had collapsed.

While the wife was living it up in the ward with a newborn and a variety of painkillers, I was left home alone. As with all of life’s little problems, the solution lay at the bottom of a pint glass. Unsurprisingly, my bank balance took a real beating, as I ended up in a particularly expensive round…barmaid.

My actions were perfectly justified as desperate times call for desperate measures. Steve McClaren can empathise, he’s recalled Emile Heskey to the England squad.

Emile will always have supporters because of his size. Heskey could easily be mistaken for the side of a house, only he’s more static. There’s an often repeated fallacy that big men don’t have a good touch; with Emile, it’s purely a coincidence.

A few shrewd footy observers have spoken of Heskey’s improved form over the past couple of years. This may well be true, but he’ll never be a Pele; although he does remain impotent on the international stage.

England’s midfield will also be under-strength. Owen Hargreaves has joined Beckham and Lennon on the treatment table and Frank Lampard has withdrawn with a thigh problem: he should really have called it a day after a bucket of wings.

The goalkeeping position is also up in the air. McClaren is expected to replace Paul Robinson with David James, which is like swapping gonorrhea for piles.

I accept that sometimes you have to go backwards to move forward, but that only works for female drivers. The England old boys are far too short at 4/11 against a capable Israeli side; the draw is the only way to play at 7/2.

People are quick to have a go at the Scots, but if it wasn’t for our skirt-wearing neighbours, we wouldn’t have television, the bicycle, penicillin, the telephone, or ginger children. Those Sweaties will try anything after a few swallies. I’ll raise a glass of Buckfast and Irn Bru to the 4/11 for a Scottish win over Lithuania.

‘Robbie Keane football shirts’ are currently the second-best selling product in Ireland; only the enduring popularity of the potato-peeler has kept them off top spot. The talismanic Keane can inspire the Irish to a win in Slovakia at 15/8.

The German team are a lot like me this weekend; we’re both going to be pounding Wales. It’ll be World War III if I miss out on the 1/2 for Germany.

Thierry Henry must be devastated after his marriage officially ended this week. The delightful Claire Merry cited ‘unreasonable behaviour’ on her divorce petition, so naturally the judge gave her a quickie. I’m separating the bookies from their cash by backing Italy at 13/10 to take out the French.

If you believe the tabloids, Ronaldo, Nani, Anderson and a ‘fat guy’ have all been gorging on expensive tarts. I can confirm that Wayne Rooney is definitely not the mysterious fourth party, as he only gets involved when the pastry is slightly wrinkled. I absolutely refuse to discriminate against the 4/9 for a Portugal win over Poland.

I have no problem with Ronaldo celebrating last week’s winning accer by playing immoral ball-games; i just want to know if he was throwing or catching. Scotland, Ireland, Italy and Portugal form an 11/1 weekend accer that will hopefully lead to a definitive answer.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

For the Americans that hate soccer (and I know not all do)….Why do you?

I just wanted to know why some Americans hated soccer. I don’t want to stereotype, but a lot of them must be ignorant and don’t even know much about the sport.
I’ll guess some of the responses based on what I’ve heard:

When I was growing up, there weren’t any local soccer teams (youth, high school, …). I wasn’t introduced to soccer until I went to a game in college.

I guess I don’t like it because I don’t really understand the game or know much about it…but I can always take the time to learn.

Does it seem like soccer aficionados speak a language all their own? It sure seems like it to me, and I’ve been playing the game for over 20 years. I put an article on the front page of this blog to help explain the most common soccer terms in plain English. Hopefully this list will help soccer moms everywhere (and soccer dads too, for that matter)to better understand what their little athlete is talking about! Click Here For Access: Soccer Terms.